Anthony Bourdain‘s ex-girlfriend is using music to cope with his suicide.
On Wednesday, five days after Bourdain’s death, Asia Argento shared photos and videos of Judee Sill’s 1971 breakup song “Jesus Was a Cross Maker” on her Instagram Story during a get-together with actress and close friend, Rose McGowan.
Though she did not mention Bourdain in her Story, Argento’s song choice does draw parallels to the Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown host, who was cremated in France on Wednesday.
The chef, TV show host and author, 61, was found dead of suicide in his hotel room in Kaysersberg, France on June 8 while in the country filming an upcoming episode of Parts Unknown with his close friend, French-born chef Eric Ripert.
In 1979, Sill, a troubled alt-singer/songwriter, died of suicide at age 35.
She overdosed on opiates and cocaine in her North Hollywood apartment, according to the Los Angeles coroner who ruled her death a suicide as reported by the Washington Post.
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Her song “Jesus Was a Cross Maker” was written about her failed relationship with J.D. Souther, another well-known songwriter.
“I was having a really unhappy romance with this guy: he was a bandit and a heartbreaker. So one morning I woke up and realized that ‘he’s a bandit and a heartbreaker’ rhymes with ‘but Jesus was a crossmaker.’ And I knew that even that wretched bastard was not beyond redemption. It’s true, it’s true; I swear. It saved me, this song. It was writing this song or suicide, y’know?” Sill said in 1971 about the meaning of the song’s lyrics.
“I wanted to write a song about this principle: the lower down you go to gain your momentum from, the higher up it will propel ya, but I couldn’t think of a way to say that poetically,” she explained.
“I happened to stumble across this real obscure theological fact, and that is that Jesus was a cross maker. That really got in my head, and I knew I had to write a song about it,” Sill added.
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Argento, an Italian actress prominent in the #metoo movement, and Bourdain had been dating for more than a year. The pair met during the filming of Parts Unknown in 2016 and began dating a year later. Argento collaborated with Bourdain on his show, and recently directed an upcoming episode set in Hong Kong.
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Argento’s friend, who had spent time with Bourdain recently, told PEOPLE that Bourdain “was madly in love with Asia” before his death by suicide last week.
“Like a teenage boy just absolutely lovestruck,” the friend said of Bourdain’s feelings for Argento, adding, “He would have done anything for her, and that was a little red flag for some of his friends.”
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “help” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.